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Sunday, February 3, 2013

Promises


...And so the page turned. 

2013 arrives; full of hope and it appears that the world is once again smiling upon me! 

A first kiss under the New Year's Eve fireworks has me walking on air. A job offer; complete with a solid salary, a 3 bedroom villa and health benefits. January hearkens a new year so much brighter than the one passing behind me.

It feels as though I have been holding my breath these long months and that I can finally exhale again!!! I move, start the job and begin what promises to be a new adventure. I pinch myself, smile and thank God for having brought me so far. This new year is off to an amazing start!

Then life decides to strike me with the blunt callousness of a sledgehammer. Within the same week I lose the job and the villa. I am discouraged, but relieved in some ways (the organization; as it turns out, was filled with some of the most brutal and unethical people I have ever worked with).

I commence to network and within days I get interviews..."stay positive", I tell myself..."you've been through this before". 

That Saturday my girlfriend calls me and surprises me that she has an unexpected day off and asks if I'd like to share the evening with her. I arrive; gift in hand and settle in on the couch with her. She ends a conversation with someone on her cell phone and starts giving me the "Dear John" speech. I'm blown away, but I contain myself and I politely tell her that she need not explain herself any further. 

I give her a kiss on the forehead and walk dizzily out. I leave the gift on her car windshield and I pull away...heart in my throat and feeling as though I suddenly weigh 1000 pounds. 

I immediately go where I know there will be a lot of AA people around. It's a meeting hall and although the timing isn't right to catch a meeting, I just need to be there. I pull into the back of the parking lot, park in a dark corner and the tears come in waves. I purge and I breath. I don't drink.

So, as January ends I am unemployed and a little heartbroken, but above all I am sober...stark raving sober.

Turn the page......

Stay tuned.